Stanly Manufacturing's decision to open a large factory is inferred that it will lead to a big revolution to Acton. As far as I am concerned, I'm in favor of it. Hence, there are some positve effects that I think they ought to be known by the residents. To begin with, after its completion, it must provide more jobs; as a result, not only can the people in the town breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here instead of moving to another cities for work but more people will be attracted to the town. In addition, the residents will have more opportunities to deal with various kinds of people. Thus, they can make different friends which vary their dialy life. Last but not the least, with the increasing population, it definitely brings about the prosperity due to more frequent trades in the town. In conclusion, as a consequence of what are mentioned above, the residents should take all the viewpoints into account and they will know how many benefits they will obtain from it and agree with the construction. On another side, Stanly Manufacturing should make enough preparations and implement some measures to set the residents' mind at ease.
breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here instead of moving to another cities for work =>instead of 我覺得放這裡怪怪的~語意上怎麼看都覺得很奇怪~改成breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here decreasing but~
回覆刪除vary one's dialy life
be inferred~我喜歡這兩個用法~
你的結尾我覺得寫的很完整~
第六行:In addition, the residents will have more opportunities to (deal with處理各式各樣的人唷@@?!有點嚇人欸xD?) various kinds of people.
回覆刪除整篇文章很有條理寫的還是很好,supporting idea 很豐富很詳細~
In addition, the residents will have more opportunities to deal with various kinds of people.
回覆刪除我也覺得這句怪怪的~
可以補充像是發展服務業~
服務這些人...
其它的地方都十分不錯喔=)
這篇也是寫得不錯 語句很通順
回覆刪除只是as a result, not only can the people in the town breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here instead of moving to another cities for work but more people will be attracted to the town. 這句未免太長了吧...
一開始看會看不懂...
not only can the people in the town breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here instead of moving to another cities for work but more people will be attracted to the town.
回覆刪除-->not only can the people in the town breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment but more people will be attracted to the town.
你這句太長看起來很累贅,而且中間還有一個地方是多的。
這樣看起來比較順暢。句子不是越長就越好喔。
Thus, they can make different friends which vary their dialy life. --->
Thus, they can make different friends who vary their dialy life.
~they will know how many benefits they will obtain from it and agree with the construction.
--->~ they will know how many benefits they will obtain from it.到這裡我覺得是一個很棒的句子,但再加下去很雜亂。都是同一個問題唷!句子太雜反而不是好事吶~
不僅不通順也會讓人眼睛花花@@
其他很不錯:>
as a result, not only can the people in the town breathe a sigh of relief about unemployment here instead of moving to another cities for work but more people will be attracted to the town.
回覆刪除>>>>這句真長:>>>>
很通順有調xXDXD
Stanly Manufacturing's decision to open a large factory is inferred that it will lead to a big revolution to Acton
回覆刪除that 跟 it 同時出現
可是你的that前面也沒有so 之類的@@
我有點看不太懂XD
Hence, there are some positve effects that I think they ought to be known by the residents.
這裡的known可以用understood感覺更有字面上的意義唷~
it must provide more jobs
>> it must provides more job opportunities
moving to another cities
>> moving to another city
Thus, they can make different friends which vary their dialy life.
這裡的which是指誰呢?
是指make different friends這件事的話就要用varies喔
如果是指friends應該用who當關代:) 小錯誤~~
as a consequence of what are mentioned above
>> owing to / due to what are mentioned above
真在你是累到頭昏眼花了嗎
還是想結婚想到眼睛花花xDDDD
有一些小錯誤喔~
不過列點清楚補充的想法也很豐富!!
我覺得可以加一點前述喔!
回覆刪除3rd positve effects -> positive :D
the residents will have more opportunities to deal with various kinds of people. //後面deal with那裏我看不太懂欸 覺得怪怪的
their dialy life -> daily
和其他人相較下 我到覺得 你這篇主要圍繞在工作機會上 論述覺得不是很完備呢