2011年6月6日 星期一

Discussing Cause -1

  There has been a huge increase in population over the past 150 years.  As for what brings about this, several elements are included.  To begin with, because of the better sanitation, people won't be sick easily.  What's more, poeple nowadays have learned a lot about sanitation and have practiced well to prevent possible diseases or flu.  In addition, food plays an important role in people's daily life, and thanks to improved farming methods that produce more and better food, they enables people to digest various nutrients and provide people with strengh and energy.  Moreover, as a result of advances in medicine and health care, on feeling sick, people can go to the hospital for a health examination.  The earlier the illness is discovered, the sooner people can receive appropriate cure or undergo an operation.  Last but not the least, due to the improvement of sanitation, advanced technology, and other factors, fewer infant dies and more people live longer.  To sum up, based on what are mentioned above, they show several causes leading to the population increase.

8 則留言:

  1. and thanks to improved farming methods that produce more and better food,
    這邊的thanks怪怪的~
    是不是用and the improved of the farming ~
    比較好呢?

    care要加s~

    妳舉了十分多樣的例子呢=)

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  2. 整體連接順暢沒什麼大問題~~

    有喜歡ㄧ些句型,EX:
    As for what brings about this, several elements are included.




    :D

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  3. What's more,~diseases or flu(flu 算是包括在diseases 裡面吧~)
    they enables people to digest(消化) various nutrients and provide people with strengh and energy(應該是要"吸收"營養素~用absorb才對喔=))

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  4. and 出現好多次了 有些地方可以換成同義的連接詞
    其他就沒什麼大問題~~

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  5. 6-7th thanks to improved farming methods... they enables people to digest various nutrients
    // 好像沒什麼關係欸! 改善農耕方式 因該是會產量增加之類的吧
    倒數6 on feeling sick //為什麼要加on?

    the earlier... the sooner...總是學過卻沒用過呢!

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  6. 第一句是哪裡的人口改變了呢@@?
    忘了交代地方唷~~

    more and better food
    >> much more and better food

    strength 拼錯xD

    health examination>>health check (健康檢查)

    sanitation出現太多次可以換成public hygiene唷~一樣的意思

    fewer infant dies >> fewer infants die

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  7. they enables people to~
    enable不用+s
    拉拉拉回完了開心唷
    然後不要一直抱怨沒有回ada的文章啦
    從我回曉雲到你的耳朵已經快聽到爆炸了:))

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