2011年4月27日 星期三

Comparing - 2

  John Adams as well as Thomas Jefferson was alike in several ways; as a consequense, the following biographical informations are about both the two great president of the United States.  First of all, John Adams played an important role in the American Revolution, which was similar to Thomas Jefferson.  Moreover, they both were delegates to the Continental Congress.  What' more, John Adams was the signer of Declaration of Independence; likewise, Thomas Jefferson was the signer of Declaration of Independence.  In addition, John Adams, the same as Thomas Jefferson, studied and practiced law.  Last but not the least, John Adams died on July 4 in 1826.  Similarly, Thomas Jefferson died on July 4 in 1826.  In conclusion, with the analysis of the two presidents, I believe that you have clearly known the informations which make them easily mistaked.

8 則留言:

  1. two great president >> two great presidents

    informations which make them easily mistaked.
    >> information which makes them easily mistaked.

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  2. 最後一句怪怪的,
    改一下會更完美:>

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  3. What' more是不是少了s啊!
    開頭跟條列都很棒ㄟ=)
    不過結尾可以再寫得清楚一點~

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  4. 結尾好倉促喔~可以加一點東西交代

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  5. 結尾的部分我覺得可以再加上一些~透過這些資訊讓你更佳的想要去多認識他們之類的結尾喔~
    不然會有種未完待續的感覺=ˇ=

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  6. as a consequense //as a consequence

    What' more // What's more

    which make them easily mistaked
    // which make them easily be mistake

    excellent!!!!!

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  7. 第二行→two great presidents〞

    結尾我也覺得怪怪,其餘都寫的很順暢很好!!

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  8. 第二行 the two great president
    president忘了加s

    其他還滿流暢的~

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