2011年4月27日 星期三
Comparing - 2
John Adams as well as Thomas Jefferson was alike in several ways; as a consequense, the following biographical informations are about both the two great president of the United States. First of all, John Adams played an important role in the American Revolution, which was similar to Thomas Jefferson. Moreover, they both were delegates to the Continental Congress. What' more, John Adams was the signer of Declaration of Independence; likewise, Thomas Jefferson was the signer of Declaration of Independence. In addition, John Adams, the same as Thomas Jefferson, studied and practiced law. Last but not the least, John Adams died on July 4 in 1826. Similarly, Thomas Jefferson died on July 4 in 1826. In conclusion, with the analysis of the two presidents, I believe that you have clearly known the informations which make them easily mistaked.
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two great president >> two great presidents
回覆刪除informations which make them easily mistaked.
>> information which makes them easily mistaked.
最後一句怪怪的,
回覆刪除改一下會更完美:>
What' more是不是少了s啊!
回覆刪除開頭跟條列都很棒ㄟ=)
不過結尾可以再寫得清楚一點~
結尾好倉促喔~可以加一點東西交代
回覆刪除結尾的部分我覺得可以再加上一些~透過這些資訊讓你更佳的想要去多認識他們之類的結尾喔~
回覆刪除不然會有種未完待續的感覺=ˇ=
as a consequense //as a consequence
回覆刪除What' more // What's more
which make them easily mistaked
// which make them easily be mistake
excellent!!!!!
第二行→two great presidents〞
回覆刪除結尾我也覺得怪怪,其餘都寫的很順暢很好!!
第二行 the two great president
回覆刪除president忘了加s
其他還滿流暢的~