2011年5月29日 星期日
Expressing an opinion -1
With the popularity of Internet developing more and more widely, it provides people with a brand-new access to date with someone else. Nevertheless, some people think of meeting people through online dating sites as an inappropriate way. On account of the following reasons, I'm against it, either. To start with, the Internet is the virtual space; as a result, the rate of being cheated on the Net is definitely higher, and the criminals may regard it as another access to commit crimes. For example, they will use a fake name, and tell a lot if lies on purpose of making people believe them so that it will be easier for them to get money from people. In addition, meeting people through online dating sites limits people to a certain way of dealing with people; thus, they will lack the opportunities of communicating with others in person. What' more, it enables us to be unable to express our real selves. Most important of all, we can't have a variety of memories, the only kind of which will be sitting in front of the computer and typing words instead of creating such memories as playing water on the beach or taking a trip to a foreign country together. In conclusion, in my opinion, humans are born to learn to interact with others; therefore, meeting people through online dating sites will keep us from that.
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第七行 a lot if xDDDDDD
回覆刪除倒數七 What' more, it enables us to be unable to express our real selves.
enables 可以改成causes 比較不冗贅~
結論句的in my opinion有點冗贅
寫的好好唷> O O <!!!!! ((投射羨慕光波...
and the criminals may regard it as another access to commit crimes.
回覆刪除這裡放ACCESS TO整個語意好奇怪@@
改成WAY會比較好喔
and tell a lot if lies on purpose of making people believe them
OF改成TO
What' more, it enables us to be unable to express our real selves.
這句感覺像繞口令XD
你可以直接說
IT CONFINES US TO EXPRESSING OUR REAL SELVES
有幾個論點還不錯喔
特別喜歡第一個的寫法^_^
倒數第6行 it enables us to be unable to express our real selves.
回覆刪除好饒舌喔....
直接寫it makes us be unable to...不就好了
其他得寫得不錯阿 creating memories 還會舉例XDD
哇塞! 寫的真的很好
回覆刪除句子的結構很緊密
the only kind of which will be sitting in front of the computer and typing words instead of creating such memories as playing water on the beach or taking a trip to a foreign country together.
>>>the only kind of which ~
這邊寫得很好 :>>>
論點都很新穎呢~跟別人得不一樣
回覆刪除好棒喔,抱一個:">
humans are born to learn to interact with others
我喜歡這句
and tell a lot if lies
回覆刪除這邊是不是寫錯了~~~
論點清晰~
語氣有壓倒性的氣勢XD
很不錯喔!!!
a lot if // a lot of
回覆刪除這篇的論點真棒!!
尤其是從犯罪率下手 哇~~
讓我很像想像不到呢
With the popularity of Internet developing more and more widely, it provides people with a brand-new access to date with someone else開頭很棒喔~很不一樣的切入點~great!!
回覆刪除In addition, meeting people through online dating sites limits people to a certain way of dealing with people; thus, they will lack the opportunities of communicating with others in person. 贊同這句話~哈~
寫的很好唷=))